• How long would it take to name yourself?

    4 min read

    This quip is years old. I came across it in 2019 and shared it. Women appreciated it. Do we have such a hard time accepting ourselves? Loving ourselves? It seems to be a universal issue for women, all women? North American women?

    “And if I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?”

    How do I decide to love myself? I can set up appointments for a manicure, for a massage, do vagal exercises, somatic work, etc. I’ve decided that the words I speak internally are of high importance. I will speak to myself as if I were someone I loved. Would I get down on a friend for what I’m on my own heels for?

    Reporting back later on this experiment.

  • How long would it take to name yourself?

    4 min read

    This quip is years old. I came across it in 2019 and shared it. Women appreciated it. Do we have such a hard time accepting ourselves? Loving ourselves? It seems to be a universal issue for women, all women? North American women?

    “And if I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?”

    How do I decide to love myself? I can set up appointments for a manicure, for a massage, do vagal exercises, somatic work, etc. I’ve decided that the words I speak internally are of high importance. I will speak to myself as if I were someone I loved. Would I get down on a friend for what I’m on my own heels for?

    Reporting back later on this experiment.

What is this thing I’m doing?

Self Love.

Caring for your own body, mind, and spirit is your greatest (and grandest) responsibility. It’s about listening to the needs of your soul and honoring them. –Kristi Ling

  • Social Media Posts that Hit Just Right

    You know when you’ve curated just the right amount of floral, whimsical, health and relationship snippets and then one just lands. I have an account like that. Boom. Scrolling through my feed, one post just hit.

    That post was one about “why you can’t lose weight.” The reason was “it’s your revenge on not getting loved enough,” and that there is shame and anger and it sits in the body. (Direct link to the post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DC9YN5ESYpe/)

    I felt justified about the weight gain I’ve had in the last year. I mean, it was a direct shot to my issues. I even sent the link to a friend with the quip “This is how I feel,” as if it were justification enough of where I was in my body. I’m 20 pounds over where I was a year ago. No deeper loved in my relationship, lots of plates spinning with kids activities, work, school, and all the crafts I love to do. Top that with probable ADHD since childhood, and life becomes piles of “I’ll get to that later.” Later never comes, or it gets delayed because the pile still is intimidating and I don’t know what to do with it, so it stays and maybe even grows a little.

    I continued to sit with the post and let it roll around in my mind. I brought myself to the realization that she didn’t say WHO wasn’t loving me enough. It didn’t say that my spouse or children, any family member or even friends weren’t loving me enough. I could be the one who isn’t loving myself enough. I kept walking around these thoughts. I can only receive the love I allow myself to receive. Its me.

    *I* am the one who needs to love myself, even if I don’t feel like anyone else is loving me “enough.” It’s not an external problem, its internal and I am enough to make the change and bring that love in. How do I love myself more when I don’t feel it?

    I’m a Christian. I know that God loves me. I know that should be enough. I also know that I am not perfect and life has thrown plenty of events my way to get beaten up. I decided that I wanted to curate a page of love for myself. This page is dedicated to allowing myself to love. Its a place to be vulnerable, to share what I’ve learned, adventures I’ve done, and who I’m becoming.

    Welcome. Welcome, friend, to A Year to Love Myself. I hope that you’re ready and willing to take on a year to love yourself, too.

  • Social Media Posts that Hit Just Right

    You know when you’ve curated just the right amount of floral, whimsical, health and relationship snippets and then one just lands. I have an account like that. Boom. Scrolling through my feed, one post just hit.

    That post was one about “why you can’t lose weight.” The reason was “it’s your revenge on not getting loved enough,” and that there is shame and anger and it sits in the body. (Direct link to the post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DC9YN5ESYpe/)

    I felt justified about the weight gain I’ve had in the last year. I mean, it was a direct shot to my issues. I even sent the link to a friend with the quip “This is how I feel,” as if it were justification enough of where I was in my body. I’m 20 pounds over where I was a year ago. No deeper loved in my relationship, lots of plates spinning with kids activities, work, school, and all the crafts I love to do. Top that with probable ADHD since childhood, and life becomes piles of “I’ll get to that later.” Later never comes, or it gets delayed because the pile still is intimidating and I don’t know what to do with it, so it stays and maybe even grows a little.

    I continued to sit with the post and let it roll around in my mind. I brought myself to the realization that she didn’t say WHO wasn’t loving me enough. It didn’t say that my spouse or children, any family member or even friends weren’t loving me enough. I could be the one who isn’t loving myself enough. I kept walking around these thoughts. I can only receive the love I allow myself to receive. Its me.

    *I* am the one who needs to love myself, even if I don’t feel like anyone else is loving me “enough.” It’s not an external problem, its internal and I am enough to make the change and bring that love in. How do I love myself more when I don’t feel it?

    I’m a Christian. I know that God loves me. I know that should be enough. I also know that I am not perfect and life has thrown plenty of events my way to get beaten up. I decided that I wanted to curate a page of love for myself. This page is dedicated to allowing myself to love. Its a place to be vulnerable, to share what I’ve learned, adventures I’ve done, and who I’m becoming.

    Welcome. Welcome, friend, to A Year to Love Myself. I hope that you’re ready and willing to take on a year to love yourself, too.

Today’s words that lead me:

“With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side.”

― Susan Weiss Berry