I keep thinking about how it looks like to invest in myself when it is so easy to get pulled back into other’s presence. I could continue to pay for coaches to tell me more of what I already know. Self care is fundamental. But when the same problem rears its ugly head, (it is truly ugly and I helped to create it, but I don’t maintain it) its so easy to get sucked into over thinking and dwelling on things that are out of my control. My locus of control is my perception. I want to create. I want to write. I want to help others, at least inspire them to do for themselves when they haven’t before. I keep coming back How do I feel and what do I want? What will make me feel the absolute best? Asking and answering these questions bring me present to me and are a present to me.
So I’ve decided to stop trying to find more solutions and work with the answers already in my hands. This is the answer that I keep coming back to. Developing my own creativity. Developing my own muscles, my own palette, and focusing on my own desires. I like to create, and I will leave a project out while I pull out three more… that leads to a messy space. So what is a woman to do? Learn how to love oneself as she closes loops. I focus on closing the loop on projects. It is also a form of self love.
Its easy to get swept up into “I’m so wrong about this” and get down on myself for the things I don’t do. I have to acknowledge that I *have* done things to eliminate and reduce the clutter. I will cheer the small steps. I will cheer allowing these places to look good. I like clean spaces and creative corners and am willing to do what needs to be done to get them in order. I have started with the living room. I did clear out the corner, put books away, and threw out papers. Yes, I did do that. I also have made time to write on the regular, though granted, it hasn’t been on this blog.
I remind myself now that I am worthy to have fun, to pamper myself, to take time to do things for me. Including cleaning because it feels good to have those spaces. I am looking forward to more creating and more fun. I foresee writing books in my future. Lots of books. I am a writer and I can’t wait to get started.
Until next time, Cherie. May it not be half a year before the next post.